May 30, 2013
I have graduated. I have said goodbye to my students. I have closed a chapter of my life that was, at first, full of classes, new routines and homework and lately, full of classes (teaching them), new routines (working full-time), and homework (oh the grading).
I hate having nothing to do. It isn't good for my sanity. Not good at all. My daily routine now consists of waking up, eating breakfast, and looking for a job. I check the IDOE website. Then I check all the local school websites. If by chance there is a new posting, I submit my application. Man, the job-hunt scene has changed from what it used to be. It is all electronic. Upload my resume. Upload my cover letter. Upload my transcripts. Upload my letters of recommendation. Most online teaching applications have somewhere between 28 and 37 steps. At first it was daunting. Maybe because by the time I got home from teaching all day, my brain was sucked dry. Those young, thirsty minds will do that. But now, I have it all down to a process. All my documents are in a JOB folder on my laptop, labeled with obvious names so I can find them easily.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow. I have a "structured interview" call in the morning. Them I go back to my students at DCHS to celebrate with my students who reached their reading goal. We will celebrate with cake and pie. The cake they get to eat, the whipped cream pies they get to throw at me. That was the deal. I had about a 33% success rate. Not too shabby that 40-some of my kids took the challenge. They say they don't want to throw pie at me, but we will see.
Then what? I gotta figure out something to do over the summer so I don't lose my mind completely. Oooh, maybe I'll plan a curriculum. But for what grade? What schedule? Ack!
Oh, and did I mention that as of tomorrow I will be the proud parent of two high schoolers? A freshman and a senior. How crazy is that?
March 9, 2013
Because I'm educated
I guess that isn't the best answer to the question "why are you an atheist." Especially if those asking are students. I mean, I shouldn't be insulting to children who still drink the kool-aid of their parent's religion. I started to question things in college, especially when I took a comparative religion course and noticed that they are all basically the same. They all have the same stories, just told in slightly different ways. They all have their "rules" to control the behavior of the believers. I don't disrespect those who want to believe. But until the questions I have always had can be answered logically, then I am an atheist.
I've always questioned the whole age of the planet thing. Is it 600 billion years old or just 4000 years old? And the creation of man from just one being, Adam. That seems like a bit of hokum.
The other thing that has always plagued me is how there is a god when terrible stuff happens? I guess I'd have to believe in the devil too in order to believe all of the "religious" bullshit reasons for evil.
I don't think you have to believe in god to make good choices and be a kind, moral, and honest person. Case in point: there is a man who has practiced deceit every single waking moment of his life for the last 41 and a half years. If there is a god, and he thinks there is, that has to be the most blasphemous action ever. His brand of religion I can do without. Deacon Ken George isn't a righteous man. Never has been. He is small. And weak. A coward. A liar. A hypocrite.
For all of these things some little part of me hopes there is a god just so that man will rot in the eternal hell he deserves.
August 18, 2011
If the GERD don't get ya
My daughter (legally step-daughter but morally and emotionally 100% MY girl) has reached her threshold with the bio-mom. The amount of emotional damage that woman has inflicted is, right now, immeasurable simply because we have just scratched the surface. Up until recently, the girl has taken and taken and taken whatever the woman dishes out. She has compartmentalized it, stuffed it down, swallowed it whole and told herself everything is "fine". But nothing is fine and hasn't been fine for quite some time.
We are now beginning the battle with bio-mom to get her to just leave the girl alone. The thing is, I don't have the stomach for it. I have the experience, to be sure, but the bile bubbles up just thinking about how this woman could live with herself and treat another human being, let alone her own flesh and blood, so horribly, horribly wrong.
I've always known that I've walked my particular walk for a reason. Every single one of my life experiences has built me up to this moment. Because I have a no-account bio-parent, I can relate to my daughter and her emotions regarding her own. Because I have suffered emotional abuse, I finally put the dots together and was able to get her to talk to me about it. And because I've lived in that dark and lonely hell, I can empathize with her continued efforts to make everything "fine".
Because I was raised by a mother who was never anything but completely honest and open with me, I am able to have that kind of relationship with my daughter. She knows she can tell me anything. We can cry together. She knows I hurt when she hurts. And she knows that I will eviscerate anyone who hurts her.
My acid reflux has nothing on the way these worthless people who never should procreate turn my stomach.
July 26, 2011
My kids ain't tryna speak gangsta. They don't wear their pants around their ankles. They don't scowl at the world. They don't hate school or think everything sucks.
They aren't your typical, everyday, run-of-the-mill teenagers. They're just good kids.
The boy, at 12, is already building an impressive resume of musical accomplishments. School and his grades matter to him. But so do his video games and his free time. His family matters to him most of all.
The girl, at 15, is so active it makes my head spin. Marching band, honors classes, AP classes, Sargent at Arms of her Girl Scout troop, treasurer of French Club, President and Co-Founder of Project AZLL - a non-for-profit organization that collects school supplies to donate to underserved classrooms. So busy, yet always makes time for us.
Some say we are strict. We monitor their electronics. We limit their access to the internet. They watch very little television. They refer to adults as mister or missus. They speak respectfully or not at all. We require them to do chores. And they have a bedtime. The rules are enforced. Consistency is normal.
Why do we have good kids? Because we are their parents, not their friends.
May 17, 2011
She said "emotional deficiency"...LOL!
I just read that Arnold Schwarzenegger just admitted to fathering a child 10 years ago and keeping it secret. The article quoted a New York City family therapist as saying that the fact he was able to keep it a secret speaks to an "emotional deficiency" and questions, "how do you keep a secret like this for 10 years? How do you look (your partner) in the eyes? You have to have no empathy, and you have to be self-centered."
Bless her heart! I chuckle to myself wondering what her diagnosis would be of the man (I use the term very liberally here) who presents himself as a devoted husband/father and an upstanding Deacon of his church who has kept the same kind of secret not 10 years but 40 years. Forty years waking up and deciding to perpetuate the same lie day in and day out while preaching righteousness to the sinners. Diabolical? Inhuman? Cold-hearted bastard? It has to be something a little more derisive than "emotionally deficient". And it doesn't take her framed therapist degree to come up with "self-centered". Men like that are the poster children for self-centeredness.
Small consolation Maria and children, you are not alone. The gubenator is one of many such creatures slithering the earth.